Recovery: The Whole Enchilada

Sober Intimacy: Learning to Feel Safe, Seen, and Known in Recovery

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0:00 | 29:01

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In this episode of Recovery: The Whole Enchilada, host Peg McDermott and co-host Heather Hageman explore sober intimacy and why it can feel terrifying in recovery. 

They discuss intimacy as “into me, see,” rebuilding trust with oneself after addiction, learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions, and moving beyond equating intimacy with sex. Heather shares how alcohol fueled transactional relationships, fear of being known, and objectification, while recovery has taught her vulnerability, respect, and connection through friendships and spirituality. 

They emphasize safety, therapy with trauma-informed professionals, navigating triggers and past non-consent experiences, avoiding swapping addictions, and delaying romantic relationships in early sobriety. Practical guidance includes sober dating plans, red flags, boundaries, communication, and aligning words with actions, emphasizing that real intimacy doesn’t require “liquid courage,” only authentic presence.


00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup

00:46 Into Me See Meaning

02:32 Sex Versus Intimacy

06:39 Trauma Safety and Consent

09:09 Early Recovery Dating Advice

14:58 Sober Dating Plan

19:27 Marriage Communication and Triggers

21:50 Friendship Higher Power and Self Worth

27:02 Closing Takeaways and Farewell

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